Stress is an inevitable part of the world we live in; however, we know that stress wreaks havoc in our bodies and on our lives, and it doesn’t make us better mothers or better women. Luckily, we can choose how to navigate through the stress and not allow it to be in control. Like the saying goes, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you respond to what happens.” Here are some easy-to-implement strategies that help decrease stress, bit by bit.
Stress and Your Mindset
Nothing changes if you don’t make up your mind to change. You can say that about most things in life. If you want to handle stress better, everything starts with improving your mindset.
Done is better than perfect. As a mother, you may find yourself concentrating on the finer details. Ask yourself, is stressing out over the details is necessary…or worth it? In other words, don’t fall victim to perfectionism and self-imposed stress. Your kids/spouse probably won’t notice the difference and you’ll still be Wonder Woman to them.
No regrets. If you find yourself in regret mode, “I should have done this. I should have done that.”—a.k.a. “should-ing” on yourself, bring yourself back to the present moment. Instead of beating yourself up, decide that today may have been a wash, but tomorrow can be different. Shift out of the unchangeable past and decide what you will do differently going forward.
Be in gratitude. In other words, focus on and enjoy what you have and not on what you don’t have. It probably will not change your circumstances, but it’s hard to be grateful and stressed at the same time. Better yet, create a gratitude list with your kids. Teaching them how to look at life through a positive lens is a lesson that will serve them their entire lives.
Practical Tips to Counter Stress
This is where the rubber meets the road. Where you’ve absorbed all the theory you can and take action to implement all the good ideas you have!
Wearing all the hats isn’t just bad fashion sense. Moms wear all the hats, so you need to hear this: it’s OK to lighten the load, draw boundaries and prioritize. This is where planning ahead is huge. Sit down with your spouse/partner and decide what you need to say “no” to. Then break down all the to-do items into manageable chunks and schedule them, as suggested below.
Ditch the scheduling myth. When you have 1001 things to do, you may hesitate to create a schedule. This may be counter-intuitive, but having a schedule is freeing. When you give each “to do” item a spot on your schedule, you’ll be able to relax because you know you’ll get to all your tasks in their allotted time blocks.
Lean on your peeps. Organize a network of other parents and helpers—and don’t be afraid to ask for help! Share carpooling responsibilities and help each other get the kids to activities. You’ll wonder how you got along without your circle once you have one.
Self-Care for Moms
Just the thought of self-care might send you into a tizzy! “I don’t have TIME for that! I don’t have MONEY for that!” So, what’s reality? For most of us, mini doses of self-care can work just fine.
Give yourself permission. Mom guilt is real. So, you might as well make it a habit to enjoy yourself and indulge in a guilty pleasure (a cup of ice cream without another mouth on the spoon perhaps?) We’re not talking big things here. Mom guilt, at its core, is love for your kids. Just acknowledge it and don’t let it get out of control.
Laugh! While we’re talking about the “little things” you can do, don’t forget to laugh. Laughter releases endorphins. It helps you take life less seriously and it’s free. Undoubtedly, your kids and pets make you laugh. But if you’re working, you can take a 10-minute break to watch a favorite comedian on YouTube!
Check in with yourself regularly. Life can be a hamster wheel if you let it. Learn to recognize when you need to step away and compose yourself. And you don’t have to wait till you’re under constant threat of dissolving into tears. The house won’t burn down, honest! Sit in a chair, take a deep breath and scan your body to see what’s tight or tense.
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